Text Insults

☻This sms can only be read by someone SEXY
try again
again
maybe you are
just not sexy?
one more time
hey don't force it ugly!!!

☻I look at the moon, the moon is beautiful... I look at you.. I.. I'd rather look at the moon again..

☻As you go through life you are going to have many opportunities to keep your mouth shut. Take advantage of all of them.

☻Kind, intelligent, loving and hot.
This describes everything you are not...

☻My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife, Marrying you really messed up my life...

☻Roses r red, violets r blue,
Sugar is sweet, and so are u.
But da roses r wilting, da violets r dead, da sugar bowl's empty and so is ur head!

☻ Do I look like a damn people person?

☻This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting

☻Haven't I seen your face before - on a police poster?

☻Look who's talking - I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets:
one to get in and another to get out.

☻I think the sun shines out of your arse.

☻Well, you're living proof that even a turd can be polished.

☻Let's be honest with each other . . .
we've both come here for the same reasons.

☻Yes, you're right. Let's go and pull some girls.

☻Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today

☻Brains aren't everything.
In fact in your case they're nothing

☻Don't let you mind wander
- it's far too small to be let out on its own

☻He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" -
but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words

☻I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works

☻Your face looks like you've been using it as a doorstop

☻If your face had "Welcome" written on it,
it would make a perfect doormat

☻If you put your face by a door,
no one would ever come in

☻Your face is such a mess,
when you practice diving why don't you make sure the pool has water in next time.

☻Your face is such a mess,
why don't you get your dog something different to chew on ?

☻Them: Here's 10p - go and tell your mum you're not coming home
You: Here's a pound - go and buy yourself some breath freshener

☻Them: I never forget a face
You: Neither do I but in your case I'll make an exception

☻Haven't I seen your face before - on a police poster?

☻Look who's talking - I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets: one to get in and another to get out.

☻I think the sun shines out of your arse.
Well, you're living proof that even a turd can be polished.

☻Let's be honest with each other . . . we've both come here for the same reasons.
Yes, you're right. Let's go and pull some girls.

☻Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today

☻Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing

☻Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own

☻He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" - but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words

☻I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works

☻Your face looks like you've been using it as a doorstop
Your face would not only stop a door, but also most clocks and a herd of charging buffalo

☻If your face had "Welcome" written on it, it would make a perfect doormat

☻If you put your face by a door, no one would ever come in

☻Your face is such a mess, when you practice diving why don't you make sure the pool has water in next time.

☻Your face is such a mess, why don't you get your dog something different to chew on ?
Your face is such a mess, you should stop reading before slamming the book shut

☻Your face doesn't look like a doorstep, it looks like the door just kept going

☻Your face is such a mess, you must stop using it to hammer in nails

☻I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

☻You're about as subtle as a gynecologist wearing a gas mask and a hair net.

☻You're about as challenging as stealing candy from a bi-polar baby in a bell-jar.

☻Peanut prizes inspire monkey contestants.

☻May the horses break their harnesses trying to pull my dick out of your mother!

☻Are you typing with your forehead, again?

☻He who laughs last has no sense of humor.

☻Cigarette, A fire at one end, a fool at the other, and a bit of tobacco in between.

☻A rose by any other name still has thorns.

☻There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

☻Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.

☻Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig likes it.

☻Never deprive someone of hope - it may be all they have.

☻There you go again, flushing the sweet milk of human kindness through the U-bend of cynicism.

☻He has no equal. Everyone else is better.

☻You are proof that God has a sense of humor.

☻He dips Sparrows in Peroxide and sells them as Canaries.

☻His idea of a practical joke is to go into the Home for the Blind and flatten out all the Braille.

☻A prime candidate for natural de-selection.

☻People like him don't just grow on trees - they swing from them

☻When he dies, they'll bury him face down, so that he can see where he's going.

☻He campaigned to have the only Bar in his town closed. When it did, he moved away.

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