Text Insults

☻Them: Here's 10p - go and tell your mum you're not coming home
You: Here's a pound - go and buy yourself some breath freshener

☻Them: I never forget a face
You: Neither do I but in your case I'll make an exception

☻Haven't I seen your face before - on a police poster?
Look who's talking - I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets: one to get in and another to get out.

☻I think the sun shines out of your arse.
Well, you're living proof that even a turd can be polished.
☻Let's be honest with each other . . . we've both come here for the same reasons.
Yes, you're right. Let's go and pull some girls.
☻Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today
☻Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing
☻Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own
☻He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" - but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words
☻I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works
☻Your face looks like you've been using it as a doorstop
☻Your face would not only stop a door, but also most clocks and a herd of charging buffalo
☻If your face had "Welcome" written on it, it would make a perfect doormat
☻If you put your face by a door, no one would ever come in
☻Your face is such a mess, when you practice diving why don't you make sure the pool has water in next time.
☻Your face is such a mess, why don't you get your dog something different to chew on ?
☻Your face is such a mess, you should stop reading before slamming the book shut
☻Your face doesn't look like a doorstep, it looks like the door just kept going
☻Your face is such a mess, you must stop using it to hammer in nails

☻Sure, I've seen people like you before - but I had to pay an admission...

☻Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?

☻I've seen more life in a down and out's vest.

☻You're red shirt goes well with your eyes...

☻Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.

☻Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?

☻Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.

☻Folk clap when they see you...but they clap their hands over their eyes.

☻You're about as much use as a Betamax videorecorder

☻All day I thought of you....I was at the zoo.

☻I'd love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can't count that high.

☻You should learn from your parents mistakes - try using some birth control.

☻He does the work of three men: Curly, Larry and Moe

☻Next time you shave, try standing an inch or two closer to the blade.

☻If I was as ugly as you were, I wouldn't say Hi to folk, I'd say BOO!

☻You've got the perfect weapon against muggers - yer face.

☻You got a face only a mother could love...unfortunately she too hates it!

☻I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.

☻Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special effort today?

☻Sure, I'd love to help you out...now, which way did you come in?

☻Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse advice...

☻I heard you were so cool that you began teaching remedial classes at Cucumber college.

☻Well, they do say opposites attact...so I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.

☻I heard that you changed your mind. So, what did you do with the diaper?

☻Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.

☻You started at the bottom...and it's been downhill ever since!

☻I heard that you were a Ladykiller. They take one look at you and die of shock.

☻Is your name Maple Syrup? - Well, it damn well should be, you sap!

☻I know what sign you were born under...'RED LIGHT DISTRICT'

☻4 REASONS Y DOGS R BETTER DAN WOMEN
dogs obey wen u shout @ dem
dogs dont shop
u can giv away ur dogs children
any guy can get a good lookin dog!

☻Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty..so the world needs YOU after all!

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