Pick Up Lines

☻You are so beautiful that I would crawl ten miles on my hands and knees through broken glass just to jerk off in your shadow.

☻Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?

☻Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.

☻I'm bigger and better than the Titanic ... only 200 woman went down on the Titanic

☻I'm good at maths, U+I=69

☻I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.

☻If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

☻If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK

☻Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's.

☻Please help the homeless. Take me home with you...

☻Wanna come and see my Hard Drive? Babe, I promise you it ain't 3.5 inches and it sure ain't floppy.

☻What's a nice girl like you doing with a face like that?

☻Will you be my Xmas cracker? I'd really like to pull you.

☻Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?

☻You are a 9.999. Well, you'd be a perfect 10 if you were with me.

☻You're good at mathematics, right? Would you say 69 was a perfect square?

☻Your Daddy must have been a Baker, cos you got the nicest set of buns I've ever saw.

☻Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?

☻I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.

☻Grab yer bag Doll...you've just pulled...

☻I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest lady on earth tonight.

☻If beauty were an hour, you'd be a second.

☻There's just one thing your eyes haven't told me yet....you're name.

☻Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

☻What time do you have to be back in heaven?

☻Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?

☻You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.

☻You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I'm 20.

☻You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

☻You must be a high jumper, because you make my bar raise!

☻You're like milk, I just wanna make you part of my complete breakfast

☻Be unique and different, say yes.

☻Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

☻Hi, my name is {name}, how do you like me so far?

☻Hi. Are you cute?

☻I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.

☻I'm easy. Are you?

☻I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

☻I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.

☻Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.

☻So....How am I doin'?

☻Do you have a boyfriend? No. Want one?

☻I think about you when I masturbate.

☻Are we related? Do you want to be?

☻Can you say constantinople backwards? Me neither, but I just wanted to ask.

☻Can you spell ICUP. I-C-U-P. You saw me pee.

☻Do you know how to use a whip?

☻Excuse me, do you live around here often?

☻Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.

☻Hey babe...can you suck a golf ball thru 50 feet of garden hose?

☻Hey babe...can you suck start a Harley?

☻Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.

☻Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."

☻I am very, very lonely, and I was wonderin'...

☻I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate.

☻I'm not trying anything, I always put my hands there.

☻I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?

☻If I could be anything, I'd love to be your bathwater.

☻Like the look of your crotch.

☻Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate and I was wondering if you'd mind if I fantasize about you?

☻Pardon me miss, but I help noticing that you have cum in your hair.

☻Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree.

☻Excuse me, but I DO think it's time we met.

☻Of course there's lots of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd love to catch and mount back at my place.

☻Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.

☻How was Heaven when you left it?

☻You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.

☻Honey, you give new meaning to the defintion of 'edible'.

☻I think I can die happy now, coz I've just seen a piece of heaven.

☻You must be going to hell, because it is a sin to look that good.

☻You should be someone's wife.

☻Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine.

☻You've made me so nervous that I've totally forgotten forgotten my standard pick-up line.

☻Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.

☻Is your name Gillette? ...coz you're the best a man can get.

☻If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.

☻It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.

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