Miscellaneous Messages

☻ I love working. I can look at it for hours.
 

☻ We used to listen to the Doors, now we have Windows.
 

☻ Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
 

☻ Computers are machines to help you solve problems you wouldn't have if you didn't have a computer.
 

☻ Life would be a lot easier if I had the source-code.
 

☻ Life is like a nose, you have to take out what is in it !
 

☻ You need 60 muscles to be angry and 20 to smile why would you make things difficult?
 

☻ My thoughts wondering off, I am always everywhere.
 

☻ I intended to become rich while sleeping, but I could not fall asleep yet.
 

☻ It is better to have one bullet in the hand than ten in the back.
 

☻ Nok nok. Who's there? ..... Marie ...... Marie who? ...... Marie who wanna...!!
 

☻ Wanna get stoned? Drink wet cement!
 

☻ Umm...your .... ZIP is open...
 

☻ Reality is for people who can't face science fiction.
 

☻ Idiot (id-ee-it) n.- One who disagrees with you.
 

☻ How do frogs die ? They Ker-mit suicide.
 

☻ Elvis is dead and I don't feel so good myself.
 

☻ I'm not as dumb as you look.
 

☻ If I can be of any help, you're in worse trouble than I thought.
 

☻ What do I miss about my wife? Her absence.
 

☻ Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let her sleep.
 

☻ Linus is like a wigwam,no windows,no gates and an apache inside...

☻Q: Why is a racist like a drunk?
A: Cos whatever they say ends in a slur.

☻Q: What's the difference between a racist's house and a porcupine?
A: With the porcupine, the pricks are on the outside.

☻Q: Why didn't the racist cross the road?
A: He was afraid of the other side.

☻Q: How does a racist pick his nose?
A: From the mail-order catalogue.

☻If a big fat man creeps into your bedroom one night and stuffs you into a bag, Then do not worry 'cause I told Santa I wanted you for christmas!

☻Smilin is infexous u catch it lik d flu.wen sum1 smild at me 2day i startd smilin 2.now im infectd iv sent it thru dis txt.so now ur smiling who wil it go2 next?

☻Dear friend! Do you take me 2 b your lawful text mate.2 have & 2 hold.4 dirty quotes or saucy jokes.in text messaging & in poor signal.til low battery do us part?

☻girls are like phones. we like to be held and talked too- but if u press the wrong button u'll be disconnected!

☻A good friend is like a good bra... hard 2 find- comfortable- supportive- prevents u from falling- holds u tight- and is always close 2 ur heart!

☻THE NHS REGRETS TO INFORM U THAT UR BIRTH WAS AN ACCIDENT.PLEASE REPORT TO UR NEAREST HOSPITAL TO BE PUT DOWN.WE APOLOGISE 4 ANY INCONVINIENCE

☻Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year, Happy Easter, Good luck on Valentines, Spooky Halloween & Happy Birthday Now bug off and don't annoy me for the next 12 months!!!!

☻why do i text u? its my choice its my way of sayin dat i remembr u. why do i remembr u? il neva know its not my choice its my hearts.

☻Last nite I lay in bed looking at the stars- the beautiful sky and the endless horizon....& suddenly I thought...where on earth is my roof?

☻If U delete this message thats bcoz u love me. If u save it thats bcoz u desire me & if u ignore it thats bcoz u miss me. So what u gonna do with IT?

☻Theres an urgent meeting in the jungle! Everyones there.. lions, tigers, cheetas and ape, but the meetin cant start because the monkey is reading this text

☻God made butter god made cheese god made you for me to squeeze god made whiskey god made pepsi and when he made you he made you SEXY!

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