Marriage sms Jokes

☻The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. - Henry Youngman

☻Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you. - Mae West

☻The trouble with some woman is that they get all excited about nothing, and then marry him - Cher

☻I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late. - Max Kauffmann

☻I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. - Marie Corelli

☻I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid. - Dorothy Parker

☻When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry

☻Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards. - Benjamin Franklin

☻Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success. - Jim Backus

☻By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

☻A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve is extracted - Helen Rowland

☻Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

☻All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. - Lord Byron

☻Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. - Henry Youngman

☻Marriage is an adventure, like going to war. - G. K. Chesterton

☻My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

☻I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. - Rodney Dangerfield

☻I like to wake up each morning feeling a new man. - Jean Harlow

☻Marriage is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important. - Lisa Hoffman

☻To the bride and groom - may we all be invited to your golden wedding celebrations...

☻To the NewlyWeds: May 'for better or worse' be far better than worse.

☻To the 2 secrets of a long lasting and happy marriage
...Here's to good sense of humor and a short memory!

☻Grooms, once you marry, please remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always try to get the last two words in: "Yes dear"

☻You know, the trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to actually prove it.

☻May the best of your past be the worst of your future

☻Married life has many Ups and Downs...May most of yours be between the sheets!

☻May the joys you share today, be the beginning of a lifetime of great happiness and fulfilment

☻To our wives and lovers...may they never meet!

☻Congratulations on the termination of your isolation and may I express an appreciation of your determination to end the desperation and frustration which has caused you so much consternation in giving you the inspiration to make a combination to bring an accumulation to the population.

☻May you grow old on one pillow.

☻Dear [bride's name],

☻Isn't it quite funny how History repeats itself?
[Bride's Age] years ago your Mother and Father were putting you to bed with a dummy...and now it's happening all over again

☻I've known many,
Liked not a few,
Loved only one,
I toast to you

☻Here's to the bride - may she share everything with her husband...and that includes the housework.

☻To the Bride and Groom - may the roof above you never fall in and may you both never fall out

☻To the Bride and Groom - live life to the fullest and remember, this is the first day of the rest of your life...

☻To my wife...my bride...my joy

☻May your joys be as deep as the Ocean, and your troubles as light as its foam.

☻May we never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.

☻A thing of beauty is a joy forever. Here's to you, my beautiful bride.

☻May our children be blessed with rich parents

☻Here's to my bride: she knows everything about me, yet loves me just the same.

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