Mama sms Jokes

☻she make Jabba the Hutt look anorexic.

☻her fave food is seconds.

☻her belt size is Equator.

☻she eats Desert out of a Trash Can lid

☻she wears an 'X' jacket and Copters attempt to land on her

☻she shows up on radar.

☻she needs a map to find her butt.

☻she fell into the Grand Canyon....and got stuck!

☻she wears an asteroid belt.

☻her Passport photo says 'Picture is continued overleaf'

☻she has TB ... 2 bellys.

☻she's once, twice, three times a lady.

☻she was in the Daily Record last week on page 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9.

☻the circus use her as a trampoline

☻stunt agencies use her as an air mattress

☻when she opens the Fridge it says - 'I give up...'

☻she got a new gig at the Cinema...she works as the screen

☻she once told me 'I could eat a horse'...believe me, she wasn't kidding!

☻she deep fries her toothpaste.

☻Anything Yo's - So Fat...

☻Yo Grannie so damn fat, that if she was an Aeroplane, she'd be a Jumbo Jet.

☻Yo Grandpa so fat that he's half Scottish, half Irish and half American

☻Yo Wife so fat she fell off a boat and the Captain yelled, "Land Ahoy!!!"

☻Yo Priest so fat, when he bungee jumped he went straight to hell...

☻Yo Doctor so fat, that when her Beeper goes off folk think she's backing up.

☻Yo Auntie so fat when she goes to Gap the only thing she can fit into is the Dressing Room

☻Yo Bookie so fat he gotta buy clothes by the furlon

☻Yo Dentist so fat that when he burped he blew out all yo mamma's teeth...that why she so ugly!

☻Yo Papa's so large when you climb on top of him your ears pop.

☻Yo Father so fat that when he sat on a Rainbow skittles fell out.

☻Yo Sister so fat that even Richard Simmons can't help laughing

☻Yo Sis so Monstrous she uses Soccer balls for earrings.

☻Yo Father so fat he can't even tie his own shoelaces

☻Yo Mama so huge that God created her...and on the seventh day rested.

☻Your Kid Sister so fat the Japanese Sumo Wrestling squad had to turn her down.

☻Yo Star Trek fan so fat he make Riker's beer belly look 2 atoms thick

☻Yo Lawyer's so fat...we're inside her right now.

☻Yo' Baker so freakin fat he masturbates when reading cookbooks

☻Yo Auntie so fat that Weight Watchers threw her out for breaking the scales.

☻Yo Boss so fat that when she calls a board meeting she has to pull herself up a Sofa.

☻Yo Air hostess so fat that on a scale of 1 to 10 she a 747.

☻Your boyfriend so fat he hasn't seen his feet for 10 years

☻Yo Bro so fat that when he farted, Mars came out...and I ain't talkin bout the 'sweetie'

☻You Nana so fat that when she went for a swim in the ocean she caused a 60 foot tidal wave.

☻Yo Music teacher so freakin Fat that she whistles Bass

☻Yo Postman so fat he got his very own Post Code

☻You cousin so fat she's on Both sides of the family.

☻Yo Girlfriend so fat I ask her to go get a Curry and she bring back 80 pounds of gravy.

☻Yo kid brother so fat he sat on 4 quarters and made a dollar.

☻Your Mom so fat she uses a bed mattress for a maxipad

☻Yo wife so fat she got more nooks and Crannies than a Ploughman's pastry

☻Yo Sister so fat she got a new job DJ'ing for the Ice Cream Van.

☻Yo Momma so fat all chairs in the house have their own seatbelts.

☻Yo Dog so fat that when you take it 'walkies' it don't know whether it walking or rolling

☻Your Mommas so fat, when it says All you can eat it still ain't enough.

☻Yo' Astronomer so fat she plays pool with Venus....and Neptune...and pluto...and...
☻Yo Moma...

☻has 10 fingers -- all on the same hand.

☻has green hair and thinks she's a Tree.

☻has a peanut butter wig with jelly sideburns.

☻has wooden boobs and breast feeds beavers

☻has one short leg and that why she always walking in circles...

☻has a major weight problem - she can't wait...to eat.

☻got a house that's so dusty, the Cockroaches drive around in Dune Buggies

☻got a glass eye with a fish in it.

☻got so much hair on her upper lip she has to braid it

☻got so much dandruff that a Midgie landed on her head and said: "Christ, I aint' seen this much snow in years."

☻got so much hair on her chest that her Breasts remind me of Coconuts...

☻is a carpenter's dream - flat as a board and so easy to nail...

☻Anything Yo's

☻Yo Grannies got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book.

☻You got no arms, no legs, and when you go swimming they call you Bob

☻Yo Wife got more weave than a dog in rush hour traffic.

☻Yo Girlfriend got an ElectroWig - including sunroof and Opera lights

☻Yo Big brother got a wooden nipple and they call him Corky.

☻Yo Priest got ears so big he gets satellite reception.

☻Your kid bro got more crust round his mouth than a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken.

☻Yo Milkman's teeth so damn yellow I can't believe it's not butter

☻Your Wife getting so old she startin to fart out Mummy dust

☻Yo Mother in law so yellow you'd think she'd been blowing the Simpsons

☻Yo mama's got a wooden leg with branches. Yo' baby sister got more mouth than Julia Roberts

☻Yo' Boy next door got an Afro with a turn signal in it.

☻Yo Doc' got 1 wooden leg with a real foot.

☻You geeky Star Wars girlfriend got more bum fur than an Ewok.

☻Yo Mommy got so many gaps in her teeth it reminds me of Piano keys

☻Yo Best Friend only got two fingers and she's a representative for world peace.

☻Yo' humor webmaster so desperate for money he got a wooden leg with advertisements stapled to it.

☻You Computer Geek friend got one tooth and they call him Chomping-at-the-Bits

☻Yo' Nana's teeth so damb black you'd think she had coal for her dinner

☻Yo Grannie had more men than the grand old duke of york...and then some...

☻Your Auntie got one leg...and folk call her Eileen

☻Yo kid sister got so many rings round her belly that she gotta screw her underware on

☻Yo cousin got 3 teeth ... one in her mouth and two in her pocket.

☻Yo PE teacher has one arm and swims round in circles

☻Yo Dentist got Summer teeth...summer in his mouth....summer in his trouser pockets...

☻You Wife got more crack than harlem

☻Your Dentist made yo teeth so crooked you use them to cut chain at the DIY store.

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