Good Quotation Messages

☻Be nice to you sibling. They are your best link to your past.

☻Understand that friends come and go. But you should hold on to a precious few.

☻Don't expect anyone else to support you at any point.

☻Dream as if you will live forever. Live as if you will die today.

☻Be prepared and some day your chance will come.

☻Watch the sun rise atleast once a year.

☻Be there when people need you.

☻When I hear someone say "life is heard" I am tempted to ask "compared to what"-Sydney J Harris.

☻If you are too careful, you are so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble upon something-Gertrude Stein.

☻A hero is no braver than a ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer-R W Emerson.

☻Never fear shadows. They simply mean there is some light near by.

☻Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

☻Shoot for the moon... cause even if you miss you will end up in the stars-Les Brown.

☻I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

☻I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

☻Sarcasm is just one more service we offer

☻If I throw a stick, will you leave?

☻You!... Off my planet!

☻If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cats.

☻The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat.

☻Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?

☻ Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

☻A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.

☻Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

☻Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.

☻Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

☻I'm so unlucky that if I was to fall into a barrel of nipples I'd come out sucking my thumb.

☻I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

☻For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

☻I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

☻We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

☻Death is the greatest kick of all. That's why they save it for last!

☻Im not under d affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep. Im not half as thunk as u drink. I fool so feelish and da drunker i stand here da longer i get

☻How would you like your egg for breakfast.... hard-boiled or impregnated?

☻Mobile phones are the only things in live of which men talk about having the smallest.

☻What is similar to a woman's period?
Ur salary - coz it comes once a month, last about 5 to 6 day and if it doesn't come it means u r in deep trouble.

☻Do u ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than u is an idiot and everyone driving faster than u is a maniac?

☻The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

☻I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

☻Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks

☻If I told you that you remind me of my mom, would you tuck me in bed tonight?

☻I'm sweet like sugar, soft like suede, but unlike Nintendo, I never get played.

☻Why'd the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every fourth child born is chinese.

☻Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?
Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.

☻Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh!

☻"My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father."

☻"If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?"

☻"Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines."

☻"Happiness is sitting down to watch slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out he spent two weeks at a nudist colony."

☻"He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news."

☻"At school we had a name for guys who were 'trying to get in touch with themselves'."

☻"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt."

☻"Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus."

☻"We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like."

☻"It's not the people who are in prison that worry me. It's the people who aren't."

☻"Mr Anaesthetist, if the patient can stay awake, surely you can."

☻"There's no bigger fan of the opposite sex than me, and I have the bills to prove it."

☻"The flashier kind of widow may insist only only sleeping with black men during the first year after death."

☻All I ever wanted is what others have.

☻Laugh on your one and the world thinks you are an idiot.

☻A kiss that says it all is seldom a first edition.

☻Women have usually nothing to wear and no room to put it away!

☻It is better to be fair than to be popular!

☻The strongest musle of the human body is the tongue.

☻Time is something that makes sure that everything does nog happen at the same moment.

☻Life is not short, it is being dead that lasts such a long time!

☻I intend to live for ever and so far everything goes well.

☻I see things the way they are and say: Why? .................. I dream of things that never were and say: Why not?

☻Life is what happens when you plan to do other things -- John Lennon

☻copernicus said:"men with dick in peanutbutter is fucking nuts."

☻Law of Murphy..... Everything that can go wrong, goes wrong sooner or later......Murphy was an optimist.

☻It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.

☻A lot of people are in pain out of fear to be happy

☻A lot of people were never happy because they thought it had yet to come.

☻A laugh is the shortest distance between two people.

☻I want to die sleeping, just like my grandfather ..... Not yelling and

☻He said:"I thank you for the wonderful talk." ... I had only been listening.

☻When your youngest child needs sex education, you have badly informed your elder children on the subject.

☻The heart and the brain are neighbours, but they will never be friends.

☻The present is just as mysterious as the future.

☻People who do not want to be disturbed, usually already are disturbed.

☻You can close your eyes for certain facts, but not for the memories.

☻Friendly words do not have to be long, the echo never dies.

☻Woman know that they are not that pretty any more when they have nothing to wear.

☻What do you have to do when you fall into a river with a sign "Forbidden to swim?"

☻Be yourself, there are enough other people.

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