Funny sms Messages

☻Love me or leave me. Hey,where is everybody going ???

☻Mobile sex: push 1 for oral, 2 for anal, 3 for normal, 4 for a trio, 5 for SM and for everything ... dial my number!

☻My feelings for you are like the sea. " Wild and romantic ? " "No, they make me sick."

☻My mother in law walks five miles every day, I wonder where she is at this moment...

☻Nice perfume... but do you really need to marinate in it?

☻One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.

☻Opticians bend your the rims/frames of your glasses for they are too polite to say that your ears are in the wrong place.

☻Read in a hospital... The psychiatrist may nog be disturbed

☻roses are red, violets are blue, frankenstein is ugly but what the hell happened to you????

☻roses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this one doesn't...

☻Scientists in the US proved that people who do not perform well in bed and who have difficulties to come hold their mobile in their right hand ..................

☻Smoking is allowed in this area, blowing not!

☻The more I learn the more I get to know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, so why should I be learning??

☻The one who digs a hole for someone else, is sweating blood !

☻They dropped your name, can you pick it up ?

☻This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!

☻This is the telephone terrorist team. While receiving this message a virus will be activated. This virus should have infected your mobile by now. Your mobile will be disabled, unless you are ugly.

☻This is your boss: "You are allowed to read the newspaper during the working hours and do certainly not miss the job adds."

☻This sms can only be read by someone SEXY:...try again...again...maybe you are just not sexy?...one more time...hey don't force it ugly!!!

☻Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, a sexy mouth, nice smile .... but that is enough about me, tell me how you are?

☻We cannot grant you a life insurance policy because you are already 102 years old. "I do not understand. It is proven statistically that at that age only few people die."

☻We will now upgrade your brain.......Please wait........Searching.......Searching.......Still searching........Sorry, no brain found !!!

☻What he want, I do not want ... What I want, he does not want ... What we want, is not allowed!

☻When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and gave you a shower!!

☻You are an unwanted child. Your parents paid the medical expenses for your birth with their accident insurance.

☻You are never too blond to learn !!!

☻You got STYLE... You got SEX-APPEAL... You got the BRAINS... and you sure as hell got the BODY....WAIT!!!!!...SORRY....wrong number

☻You have the ones that think and you have the ones that do things. The worst kind are those who think that they are doing things.

☻You should know what it takes to look this cheap!

☻You used to be so ugly that your mother had to tie a steak around your neck, otherwise even the dog would not play with you

☻You will have to cut back on your sex live. What part will you leave out, talking about it or thinking about it?

☻You with your beautiful eyes, you with your nice hair, you with your fantastic body ... o, sorry, wrong number

☻You’d better not be a dayfly and not having your day.

☻Your provider adjusted his rates. The rate is determined by the length of your genitalia, the shorter they are, the less you pay. You can telephone for free from now on!

☻It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet!

☻A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass!

☻i tried to call you from a payphone last night. i put my doner card in by mistake, it cost me an arm and a leg!

☻Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!!

☻Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty… so the world needs YOU after all!

☻Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster

☻A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

☻At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

☻The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

☻i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf agai

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