Blonde sms Jokes

☻Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

☻Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.

☻Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
Because it kept falling out.

☻Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.

☻How do you confuse a blonde?
Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.
Why does it work?
"Does 3 come before E or does it go between M and W?"

☻Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!

☻What is the blonde's favorite potato chip?
Free-to-lay (Frito-Lay).

☻What is blond, brunette, blond, brunette, ....?
A blond doing cartwheels.

☻What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort.

☻Did you hear about the blond skydiver?
She missed the Earth!

☻Did you hear about the blond who had two chances to get pregnant?
She blew it both times!

☻What do a moped and a blond have in common?
They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one.

☻How do you know when a blond's been in your fridge?
Lipstick on the cucumbers!

☻What do a blonde and an instant lottery ticket have in common?
All you have to do is scratch the box to win.

☻What is the difference between a blonde and an inflatable doll?
About 2 cans of hair spray

☻What's the quickest way to get into a blondes pants?
Pick them up off the floor.

☻Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
The vegetable garden.

☻What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
There have been sightings of UFOs.

☻What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
Frosted Flakes.

☻What do you call a blonde holding a brief case, up a tree?
The Branch Manager.

☻What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
Proof-reading.

☻How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

☻Why do blondes love lightning?
They reckon somebody is taking their photo.

☻It's with tremendous sadness that I report a local blond girl has lost 95% of her brains....yes, her husband just died.

☻What's brown, red, black and blue?
A Brunette who's been telling one too many blonde jokes.

☻NEWSFLASH: Blonde girl fired from Banana plantation for throwing out all the bent ones.

☻Why couldn't the blonde manage to make Ice-Cubes?
She couldn't find the recipe.

☻She was so blonde that...

☻She thought a quarterback was a refund.

☻She managed to trip over my cordless phone.

☻On the bottom of the job application where it said 'Sign Here' she wrote 'Aquarias'.

☻She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

☻She told me to meet her on the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk".

☻She tried to place a bag of M&M's in alphabetical order.

☻She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

☻She took a ruler to bed so she could see how long she slept.

☻When she got an AM radio, it took her 10 month to figure out she could use it at night.

☻She spent 25 minutes staring at the Orange juice box cos it said - "concentrate"

☻She got stabbed in a Shoot out.

☻She used to sit on the tv so she could watch the couch.

☻When she heard that 90% of all crimes were around the home, she moved.

☻She thinks Eartha Kitt is a set of gardening tools.

☻When she saw the sign for YMCA she said: "LOOK, they've spelled MACY's wrong!!!"

☻She stood staring at the frozen orange juice because it said "Concentrate".

☻She put lippie on her forehead cos her boyfriend told her to make up her mind.

☻She tried to drown a fish.

☻If you offered her a Penny for her thoughts, you'd get change.

☻She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

☻She took a Spoon to the Super Bowl.

☻It takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.

☻She asked for a Price-check at the 'Everythings a Pound' store.

☻They had to burn her school down to get her outta 4th grade.

☻She thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.

☻When I was drowning in a lake and screaming out for a life saver she asked: "Grape or Cherry?"

☻She thought Meow Mix was a record for Cats.

☻She thought that Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company.

☻She tried to drown a fish.

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