Blonde sms Jokes

☻Q: How do you know when a blonde's been in your refridgerator?
A: There's lipstick on your cucumbers/courgette/zuchini.

☻Q: What's a 68 to a blonde?
A: It's where she goes down on you and you owe her one.

☻Q: What's the white stuff you find in a blonde's panties?
A: Clitty litter.

☻Q: Why is it that Blonde's always get confused in the Ladies rest room?
A: Well, it's cost they gotta pull their own pants down...

☻Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?
A: Because their balls would show.

☻Q: What do you call a blonde with an I.Q of 100?
A: A foursome.

☻84. Q: What is the difference between a new blonde and an old blonde?
A: Vaseline and Poligrip.

☻85. Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an office?
A: There's a fold-up bed in the Stock room and permanent smiles on the Bosses' faces.

☻Q: What is a bellybutton for?
A: It gives a blonde a place to park her gum on the way down.

☻Q: What do you call a blonde with a bag of sugar on her head?
A: Sweet fuck all.

☻Q: Why did the blonde give a b*** job after sex?
A: She wanted to have her cock and eat it too.

☻Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England?
A: She found out Big Ben is only a clock.

☻Q: Why did the blonde guy put ice in his condom?
A: To keep the swelling down.

☻Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the sperm bank?
A: Her employer found that she was embezzling.

☻92. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job?
A: Your job still sucks after 6 months.

☻Q: What is the smartest thing that can come out of a blonde's mouth?
A: Einstein's d**k.

☻Q: What do you call a blonde with pigtails?
A: A blow job with handlebars.

☻Q: What did the blonde say during a xxx flick?
A: "Hey fellas, Look! There I am!"

☻Q: How does a blond prepare for safe sex?
A: She puts on rubber based lipstick.98. Q: What does XXX stand for?
A: Blondes co-signing a note.

☻99. Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Finland, turn around and come back home?
A: It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking was a tv set.

☻Q: What's the difference between a Blonde and a bowling ball?
A: You can only get three of your fingers inside a bowling ball.

☻Q: What do blondes eat to increase their breast size?
A: Silicone chips.

☻Q: Did you hear about the blonde who attempted to drive to EuroDisney?
A: She saw a sign saying: "EuroDisney Left" so she went home.

☻Did you hear about the blonde who put under Education on her job application, 'Hooked On Phonics'...

☻Q: What did the blonde girl name her pet Zebra?
A: Spot.

☻Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the pedestrian sign said "DON'T WALK".

☻Q: What does a blonde Owl say?
A: What, what?

☻Q: What do you see when you look directly into a blonde's eyes?
A: The back of her head.

☻Q: What did the Dumb Blonde do when she went to a film that had an NC-17 (no under 17's) rating? A: Went home and got 16 friends.

☻Q: What do you call a blond behind a steering wheel?
A: An air bag.

☻Q: How do you tell if a blonde writes Mysteries?
A: She's got a checkbook.

☻Q: How can you tell a FAX has been sent from a blonde?
A: There's a stamp on it.

☻Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: Threw it off a cliff.

☻Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A: Keep breakin em' with hammers.

☻Q: What's the difference between blondes and McDonald's?
A: A blonde serves more people in a night.

☻Q: What happens when a blonde developes Alzheimers?
A: Her IQ goes up.

☻Q: Why are there no dumb brunettes?
A: Peroxide.

☻Q: What's the guaranteed method to totally confuse a Blonde Man?
A: Ask him to alphabetise a King-size bag of M&Ms.

☻Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.

☻Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it.

☻Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blondes head?
A: A Space Invader.

☻Q: What's the difference between a dumb blonde and a supermarket trolley?
A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.

☻Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: Manages to get the Pop Tarts out the toaster in one piece.

☻Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A: A mental block.

☻Q: How many stupid blondes does it take to make a circuit?
A: Two - one to stand inside the bath, the other to pass the hair dryer.

☻Q: What's the diff between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.

☻Q: Did you hear about the dumb blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".

☻Q: What's a dumb Blondes favorite rock group?
A: Air Supply.

☻Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch a cold?
A: No need for em to worry about blowing their brains out.

☻Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?
A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

☻Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on top of her.

☻Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Last year's hide and seek champion.

☻Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

☻Q: What does a postcard from a blonde's vacation say?
A: Having a fantastic time. Where am I?

☻Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
A: Present her with a mirror and tell her to wait for the other person to say "Hello"

☻Q: Why are blonde's immune to Mad Cow Disease?
A: It only affects the brain.

☻Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a natural blonde?
A: Blow in her ear - if natural, watch as she floats...

☻Q: What do you call blonde twins doing bubble gum commercials?
A: Double-dumb.

☻Q: Where do you look for blonde's obituaries?
A: Under "Home Improvements."

☻Q: Why did the blonde go to the rehab center?
A: Because she thought she was hooked on phonics.

☻Q: What is foreplay for a blonde?
A: 30 mins of begging.

☻Q: What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
A: It's quite difficult opening the legs of an Ironing Board.

☻Q: What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground?
A: An air mattress.

☻Q: What would you do if a Blond threw a hand grenade right at you?
A: You'd pull the pin and throw it back.

☻Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

☻Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?
A: Lipstick.

☻Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a Mercedes?
A: You don't lend the Merc out to your friend.

☻Q: What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
A: Sooner or later they'll both end up in the gutter.

☻Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: She didn't want to waken the sleeping pills.

☻Q: How many blondes does it take to play tag?
A: One.

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