Blonde sms Jokes

☻Q : Why are blonde jokes so short?
A : So men can remember them.

☻Q : Why do men like blonde jokes so much?
A : Because they can understand them

☻Q : How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A : Shine a flashlight in their ear.

☻Q : What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
A : They're both empty from the neck up.

☻Q : Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A : From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK"

☻Q : Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A : So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills

☻Q : What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon?
A : Far-from-thinking

☻Q : Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A : They keep breaking them with the hammers.

☻She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

☻She thought a quarterback was a refund.

☻She tripped on the cordless phone

☻She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind

☻She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept

☻At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here", she put Leo

☻If she spoke her mind, she would be speechless

☻When she heard that 90% of all crimes were around the home, she moved

☻Q : What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A : She slipped off and fell down the drain

☻Did you hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
It took her months to figure out she could use it at night

☻Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice? Because it said "concentrate"

☻What do you call 9 blondes standing in a circle? A dope ring

☻Why can't blondes be pharmacists?
Because they can t fit the bottle in the typewriter

☻What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
OH, LOOK!! Donut seeds!!

☻What are two reasons why blondes don't mind their own business? No mind. No business

☻Why did 18 blondes go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed

☻Two blondes were driving to Tokyo Disneyland when they saw a sign that read, "Tokyo Disneyland Left", so they turned around and went home

☻Why did the blonde dye her hair red? Instant Intelligence!

☻Why do blondes drive BMWs? Because they can spell it

☻Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: On the back she saw "911" and thought it was a Porsche.

☻Q: What does Star Trek's Dr Bones McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde?
A: Space. The final frontier..........

☻Q: What did the blond do when she missed the 66 Bus?
A: She took the 33 bus twice instead.

☻Q: Why do ya reckon Blonds don't have elevator jobs?
A: Cos they've no idea of the route.

☻Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes Twinkle?
A: You shine a torchlight in her ear.

☻Q: Did you hear about the blond Bear?
A: Got stuck in a hunter's trap, chewed off it's 2 paws and 1 leg, and was still stuck.

☻Q: How does a stereotypical blonde spell Farm?
A: E-I-E-I-O.

☻Q: How do you measure their intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in their ear.

☻It's with great tragedy that I report my blonde next door neighbour tried to kill her toy poodle.
She tried putting batteries in it.

☻To amuse a Blonde for hours, give her a sheet of paper with 'Please turn over' scribbled on both sides.

☻Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
A: There have been sightings of UFOs.

☻Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
A: Frosted Flakes.

☻Q: What do you call a blonde holding a brief case, up a tree?
A: The Branch Manager.

☻Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proof-reading.

☻Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

☻Q: Why do blondes love lightning?
A: They reckon somebody is taking their photo.

☻It's with tremendous sadness that I report a local blond girl has lost 95% of her brains....yes, her husband just died.

☻Q: What's brown, red, black and blue?
A: A Brunette who's been tellin one too many blonde jokes.

☻NEWSFLASH: Blonde girl fired from Banana plantation for throwing out all the bent ones.

☻Q: Why couldn't the blonde manage to make Ice-Cubes?
A: She couldn't find the recipe.

☻Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 2. 1 to hold the Diet Irn-Bru and the other to call on 'Daddddyyy'

☻Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.

☻Q: What did the blonde do when she heard on the news that over 90% of accidents occur at the home?
A: She moved.

☻Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of Sixty?
A: A blonde parade.

☻Q: Why did the blonde call the job centre?
A: She wanted to find out how to cook food stamps.

☻Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in 6 or 12 pieces.
A: "Oh, only Six I think - I'd never manage to eat all 12 pieces."

☻Q: What do you call a Smart blonde?
A: A Golden Retriever.

☻Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
A: Perri-Air.

☻Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Cos sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.

☻Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
A: Both are completely empty from the neck up.

☻Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.

☻Q: Why are blondes hurt by people's words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.

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