Policemen
Top
10 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over
I can't
reach my license unless you hold my beer.
Hey, is
that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
Hey, you
must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.
Sorry
officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
I was going
to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
What do you
mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.
Wow, you
look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriends night stand.
I thought
you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
I was
trying to keep up with traffic. Yes I know there is no other car
around, that's how far they are ahead of me.
Is it true
that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
Well, when
I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap
and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed
out of control.
You Might Be a Cop if...
people
shout, "I didn't do it!" when you walk into a room.
your
idea of a good time is an armed robbery at shift change.
you
disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see.
you
believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.
you
believe prozac should be added regularly to the water system.
when
you mention vegetables, you're not referring to the food group.
you
want to hold a seminar entitled "Suicide - getting it right the first
time."
you
call for a criminal record check on anyone who seems friendly toward
you.
you
believe anyone who says, "I only had two beers" is going to blow over
150.
you
walk into places and people think it's high comedy to seize a co-worker
and shout, "They've come to get you...".
|
 How cops do
it...
Cops do it by
the book.
Cops do it with handcuffs.
Detectives do it under cover.
Policemen do it without a break for 12 hours.
How many cops
does it take to change light bulb?
Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
Only one, but he has to see an officer do it first.
Three, one to do it, one to direct traffic and one to say "Show's over,
nothing left to see here, folks, move along."
How many LA cops
does it take to change light bulb?
Six. One to do it and five to smash the old bulb to splinters.
Back
to Index page
|
