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A merchant
teaches his son the secrets of the trade: "When you charge a customer
$100, and he pays you by mistake $200, you have an ethical dilemma --
should you tell your partner?"
A woman walks
into the butcher shop just before closing. She says, "Thank Heavens
I've made it in time! Have you any turkey?" The butcher opens his
fridge and takes out his only turkey, and plops it onto the scale. It
weighs 4 1/2 pounds.
"Ah,
haven't you anything bigger?" the woman inquires. The butcher returns
the turkey to the fridge, takes it out again, and plops it onto the
scale, only this time, he keeps his thumb on the turkey. The scale
shows 7 1/4 pounds.
"Marvelous!"
says the woman. "I'll have both of them please."
 There
were two grocers, Smith and Jones, in the same street. Smith had a sign
in his window, "Avocados, 20 pence a pound". A woman goes in and asks
for some. "Sorry love", said Smith, "I haven't got any in just now;
come back on Wednesday".
So she goes on
up the street to Jones. But his avocados are 2 pounds-fifty a pound!
But at least he has them in stock.
"That's a bit steep isn't it? Smith's are only 20 pence a pound".
"Yeah", says Jones, "and when I haven't got any in stock, mine also are
only 20 pence a pound!"
Shopkeeper
Smith was alarmed when a new business, much like his own, opened in the
storefront to the left of him. A huge sign was installed, reading BEST
DEALS.
Mr. Smith was troubled a second time when another competitor leased the
building on his right, and erected a much larger sign, reading LOWEST
PRICES.
At this point Smith was really depressed, however, he came up with an
idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop...it read MAIN
ENTRANCE.
A merchant sent
an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great
deal of money.
The
distributor, noting that the previous bill hadn't been paid, told the
collections manager to check it. The collections manager left a
voice-mail for them saying, "We can't ship your new order until you pay
for the last one."
The next day
the collections manager received a collect phone call, "Please cancel
the order. We can't wait that long."
How
merchants do it..
Merchants do it
to customers.
Merchants do it in gift wraps.
How many
merchants does it take to change a light bulb?
 "The light
bulb that I sold you doesn't work? You must be using a non-standard
socket."
 None.
Well, it takes one merchant to sell you the light bulb and one to gift
wrap it, but then you go home and change the light bulb by yourself.
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