LINGUISTS Jokes

Top 24 Oxymorons

Military Intelligence	Resident alien
Advanced BASIC	Genuine imitation
Same difference	Almost exactly
Small crowd	Business ethics
Twelve-ounce poundcake	Found missing
New classic	Passive aggression
Sweet sorrow	"Now, then.."
Synthetic natural gas	Pretty ugly
Clearly misunderstood	Peace force
Temporary tax increase	Computer security
Plastic glasses	Terribly pleased
Political science	Definite maybe

Translation and Advertisement

The Dairy Association's huge success with the campaign "Got Milk?" prompted them to expand advertising to Mexico. It was soon brought to their attention the Spanish translation read "Are you lactating?"
Coors put its slogan, "Turn It Loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer From Diarrhea."
Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux."
Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick," a curling iron, into Germany only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "Manure Stick."
An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I Saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I Saw the Potato" (la papa).
Pepsi's "Come Alive With the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back From the Grave" in Chinese.
Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "It takes a strong man to make a tender chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate."
When American Airlines wanted to advertise its new leather first class seats in the Mexican market, it translated its "Fly In Leather" campaign literally, which meant "Fly Naked" (vuela en cuero) in Spanish.
Hunt-Wesson introduced Big John products in French Canada as Gros Jos. Later they found out that in slang it means "big breasts".
Bank Caixa Econômica Federal in Brazil offered in an advertisment "HOT MONEY" (in english), obviously unaware of the fact that hot money means "Stolen Money" in normal slang.
The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Kekoukela", meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent "kokou kole", translating into "happiness in the mouth."
When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, "It won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you."The company thought that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant"

A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.	No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.
For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.	We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.	Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.	Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.	Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Père Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Chopin and Jean de la Fontain.	For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, pottie chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.
Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.	Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!	And now, the Superstore - unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play.	Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.

How many linguists does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but he must consult the Oxford English Dictionary.

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