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A person checks
into a hotel for the first time in his life, and goes up to his room.
Five minutes later he calls the desk and say, "You've given me a room
with no exit. How do I leave?"
The desk clerk
says, "Sir, that's absurd. Have you looked for the door?"
The person
says, " Well, there's one door that leads to the bathroom. There's a
second door that goes into the closet. And there's a door I haven't
tried, but it has a ' do not disturb ' sign on it."
A farmer, who
went to a big city to see the sights, asked the hotel's clerk about the
time of meals.
"Breakfast is served from 7 to 11, dinner from 12 to 3, and supper from
6 to 8," explained the clerk.
"Look here," inquired the farmer in surprise, "when am I going to get
time to see the city?"
A traveler
pulls into a hotel around midnight and asks the clerk for a single
room. As the clerk fills out the paperwork, the man looks around and
sees a gorgeous blonde sitting in the lobby. He tells the clerk to wait
while he disappears into the lobby. After a minute he comes back, with
the girl on his arm.
"Fancy
meeting my wife here," he says to the clerk. "Guess I'll need a double
room for the night."
Next morning,
he comes to settle his bill, and finds the amount to be over $3000.
"What's the meaning of this?" he yells at the clerk. "I've only been
here one night!"
"Yes,"
says the clerk, "but your wife has been here for three weeks."
"Room
Service? Can you send up a towel?"
"Please wait, someone else is using it."
"Room
service? Send up a larger room."
A not so rich
couple decided to stay at a very exclusive hotel for a night. The
manager immediately recognized them for what they are but could not
throw them out, instead he decided to be clever. In the morning the
couple came to settle the bill and were surprised to find they owe
$3000.
"How's
this? We've only been here one night!" the man was annoyed.
"So?", said the manager, "this is a very expensive hotel. We have golf
courts, tennis courts, swimming pools, exercise rooms, bars and
restaurants, all this is very expensive to keep up."
"But we didn't use any of these!" explained the couple.
"If you didn't use - that's your problem," came the reply.
"In
that case, you owe me $2000. You see, my wife is a call girl who
charges $5000 a night, so please settle your bill," said the man.
"What do you mean?" the manager was taken off guard, "I didn't sleep
with your wife!"
"If you didn't use - that's your problem!"
"And
will there be anything else, sir?" the bellboy asked after setting out
an elaborate dinner for two.
"No thank you," the gentleman replied. "That will be all."
As the young man turned to leave, he noticed a beautiful satin negligee
on the bed. "Anything for your wife ?" he asked.
"Yeah! That's a good idea," the fellow said. "Please bring up a
postcard."
A hotel is a
place that keeps the manufacturers of 25-watt bulbs in business.
Shelley
Berman
A man wrote a
letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would
very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very
well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room
with me at night?"
An immediate
reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this
hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal
towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never
had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and
disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes,
indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch
for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."
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