|
A man walks
into a New York City bank and says he wants to borrow $2,000 for three
weeks. The loan officer asks him what kind of collateral he has. The
man says "I've got a Rolls Royce -- keep it until the loan is paid off
-- here are the keys." The loan officer promptly has the car driven
into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping, and gives the man
$2,000.
Three weeks
later the man comes into the bank, pays back the $2,000 loan, plus $10
interest, and regains possession of the Rolls Royce. The loan officer
asks him, "Sir, if I may ask, why would a man who drives a Rolls Royce
need to borrow two thousand dollars?"
The man
answers, "I had to go to Europe for three weeks, and where else could I
store a Rolls Royce for that long for ten dollars?"
Jones applied
to a finance agency for a job, but he had no experience. He was so
intense that the manager gave him a tough account with the promise that
if he collected it, he'd get the job.
Two hours
later, Jones came back with the entire amount. "Amazing!" the manager
said. "How did you do it?"
"Easy,"
Jones replied. "I told him if he didn't pay up, I'd tell all his other
creditors he paid us."
Things
you would NOT want to see happen at the ATM
You go to
get a balance inquiry, and instead of printing out a receipt the screen
says: "Not worth wasting paper", and ejects your card. You try to get a
balance inquiry, and the screen says: "Account not found." and keeps
your card.
You insert
your card, and try to get some cash, and the ATM laughs and spits out
your shredded card.
You
withdraw some money to pay some bills, count it, and the screen says:
"What, you thought there was some EXTRA there? HA!", and ejects your
card clear across the room.
You think
you've got $100 in your account and go to take out $50, and the screen
says: "Not in this lifetime." and laughs as you bang on the machine,
trying desperately to get your card back that the machine has taken.
You go to
the ATM, and there's a picture of you a-la-"Most Wanted" staring
forlornly at the ATM camera with a caption that reads: "Wanted for
trying to get water from a dry well."
 How bankers do
it..
Bankers do it
risk-free.
Bankers do it just for money.
Bankers charge a fee each time they do it.
Bankers do it with varying rates of interest.
Bankers do it with a penalty for early withdrawal.
How many bankers
does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the
combination.
Back
to Index page
|
