Accountants
Jokes
Pick-Up
Lines to use on Accounting Chicks
You've got a lovely pair of W-2's.
Please, baby, let me withhold you.
Nice assets.
Lady, you make my pants file for an extension.
In my office, I.R.S. stands for I'm Really Sexy.
Let's fill out a 1040 - you are a 10 and I'm a 40.
If I help you screw Uncle Sam, can I be next?
Technically, having sex with me is like a charitable gift.
You're entitled to a $5,000 tax break on your municipal bond income..
now let's do it.
You're the kind of girl I could take home to mother - which is good,
since I still live with her.
 How accountants do it..
Accountants do
it by the book.
Accountants do it within budget.
Accountants do it to the bottom line.
Accountants do it with double entries.
Accountants do it between spreadsheets.
Accountants are Certified to do it in Public.
Accountants do it without losing their balance.
You might be an Accountant if..
you
refer to your child as Deduction 214.
you
deduct Exlax as "Moving expenses".
you
have no idea that GAP is also a clothing store.
at
the move Indecent Proposal you did a NPV calculation.
getting
to sleep is an exciting event that you look forward to all day long.
your
idea of trashing your hotel room is refusing to fill out the guest
comment card.
you
are doing it now because you checked the file and found that you did it
last year.
you
decide to change your name to a symbol and you choose the double
underline "======".
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How many
accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
 "What
kind of answer did you have in mind?"
Two, one to change the light bulb and one to check that it was done
within the given budget.
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