Mark Twain Quotes

The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
Mark Twain

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.
Mark Twain

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
Mark Twain

The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.
Mark Twain

The Public is merely a multiplied "me."
Mark Twain

The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all.
Mark Twain

The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
Mark Twain

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
Mark Twain

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
Mark Twain

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.
Mark Twain

The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.
Mark Twain

The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
Mark Twain

The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.
Mark Twain

There are lies, damned lies and statistics.
Mark Twain

There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
Mark Twain

There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
Mark Twain

There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
Mark Twain

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.
Mark Twain

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress.
Mark Twain

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
Mark Twain

Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.
Mark Twain

Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.
Mark Twain

To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.
Mark Twain

To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.
Mark Twain

To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.
Mark Twain

Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.
Mark Twain

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.
Mark Twain

Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.
Mark Twain

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
Mark Twain

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.
Mark Twain

We Americans... bear the ark of liberties of the world.
Mark Twain

We are all alike, on the inside.
Mark Twain

What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.
Mark Twain

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.
Mark Twain

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.
Mark Twain

When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.
Mark Twain

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
Mark Twain

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
Mark Twain

When in doubt tell the truth.
Mark Twain

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Mark Twain

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
Mark Twain

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
Mark Twain

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.
Mark Twain

Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.
Mark Twain

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.
Mark Twain

Words are only painted fire; a book is the fire itself.
Mark Twain

Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
Mark Twain

Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
Mark Twain

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
Mark Twain

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Mark Twain

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