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Mark
Twain Quotes
A lie can travel
half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
Mark Twain
A man cannot be
comfortable without his own approval.
Mark Twain
A man is never
more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
Mark Twain
A man who carries
a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
Mark Twain
A person who won't
read has no advantage over one who can't read.
Mark Twain
A person with a
new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
Mark Twain
A round man cannot
be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to
modify his shape.
Mark Twain
Action speaks
louder than words but not nearly as often.
Mark Twain
Advertisements
contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
Mark Twain
Against the
assault of laughter nothing can stand.
Mark Twain
Age is an issue of
mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Mark Twain
All
generalizations are false, including this one.
Mark Twain
All you need in
this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
Mark Twain
All you need is
ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.
Mark Twain
Always do right.
This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Mark Twain
Anger is an acid
that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to
anything on which it is poured.
Mark Twain
Apparently there
is nothing that cannot happen today.
Mark Twain
Be careful about
reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Mark Twain
Be careless in
your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul.
Mark Twain
Better a broken
promise than none at all.
Mark Twain
Biographies are
but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man
himself cannot be written.
Mark Twain
By trying we can
easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.
Mark Twain
Cauliflower is
nothing but cabbage with a college education.
Mark Twain
Civilization is
the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
Mark Twain
'Classic.' A book
which people praise and don't read.
Mark Twain
Climate is what we
expect, weather is what we get.
Mark Twain
Clothes make the
man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Mark Twain
Courage is
resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
Mark Twain
Deep down in me I
knowed it was a lie, and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie - I found
that out.
Mark Twain
Denial ain't just
a river in Egypt.
Mark Twain
Do the right
thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Mark Twain
Do the thing you
fear most and the death of fear is certain.
Mark Twain
Don't go around
saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was
here first.
Mark Twain
Don't let
schooling interfere with your education.
Mark Twain
Don't part with
your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have
ceased to live.
Mark Twain
Don't say the old
lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.
Mark Twain
Don't tell fish
stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them
where they know the fish.
Mark Twain
Drag your thoughts
away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way
you can manage it.
Mark Twain
Education consists
mainly of what we have unlearned.
Mark Twain
Everything has its
limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold.
Mark Twain
Everything human
is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow.
There is no humor in heaven.
Mark Twain
Facts are
stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
Mark Twain
Familiarity breeds
contempt - and children.
Mark Twain
Few things are
harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
Mark Twain
Fiction is obliged
to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
Mark Twain
Forgiveness is the
fragrance that the violet sheds on the heal that has crushed it.
Mark Twain
George Washington,
as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He
could not even lie.
Mark Twain
Get your facts
first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain
Giving up smoking
is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it
thousands of times.
Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for
the climate, Hell for the company.
Mark Twain
God made the Idiot
for practice, and then He made the School Board.
Mark Twain
Going to law is
losing a cow for the sake of a cat.
Mark Twain
Golf is a good
walk spoiled.
Mark Twain
Good breeding
consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we
think of the other person.
Mark Twain
Good friends, good
books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
Mark Twain
Grief can take
care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have
somebody to divide it with.
Mark Twain
Have a place for
everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not advice, it is
merely custom.
Mark Twain
He is now rising
from affluence to poverty.
Mark Twain
He is useless on
top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages.
Mark Twain
Honesty is the
best policy - when there is money in it.
Mark Twain
Humor is mankind's
greatest blessing.
Mark Twain
I am an old man
and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
Mark Twain
I am opposed to
millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
Mark Twain
I can live for two
months on a good compliment.
Mark Twain
I didn't attend
the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
Mark Twain
I don't give a
damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.
Mark Twain
I don't like to
commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both
places.
Mark Twain
I have been
complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel
that they have not said enough.
Mark Twain
I have made it a
rule never to smoke more that one cigar at a time.
Mark Twain
I have never let
my schooling interfere with my education.
Mark Twain
I have never taken
any exercise except sleeping and resting.
Mark Twain
I make it a rule
never to smoke while I'm sleeping.
Mark Twain
I must have a
prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to
make it up.
Mark Twain
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