Unavoidable
Laws
These
are the unavoidable laws of the natural universe...
1.
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease
your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
2.
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.
3.
Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4.
Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a
busy signal.
5.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because
you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
6.
Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were
in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every
time).
7.
Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone
rings.
8.
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know
increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
9.
Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine
won't work, it will.
10.
Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional
to the reach.
11.
Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from
the aisle arrive last.
12.
Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your
boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is
cold.
13.
Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room,
they will have adjacent lockers.
14.
Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich
of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the
newness, color and cost of the carpet/rug.
15.
Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
16.
Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what
you are talking about.
17.
Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
18.
Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
19.
Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they
will stop making it.
