Urinal
Challenge
Take
the first annual, Choose-A-Urinal Challenge! Men should ace this test
(or suffer the wrath of men everywhere)... women are on their own. But,
there IS a code of the rest room that MUST be followed. The, following
is the urinal configuration in a sample men's room. An X above the
number will indicate "in use."
(Sample)
Indicates
men are at stalls 3 and 6.
You mission is to identify correctly, based on proper urinal etiquette,
the stall at which you should stand. Good luck!
Easy
Section
1.
Urinals 2 and 4 are occupied.
Enter
your choice here: __
The
correct answer is 6. It's the ONLY one to go to and every guy
instinctively knows this.
2. Urinal 1 is occupied.
Enter
your choice here: __
The
correct answer is 6. Stall 5 is acceptable, but you run a greater risk
of being next to someone who arrives later.
Kind
of Tricky Section
3.
No urinals are occupied.
Enter your choice here: __
The
correct answer is 1 or 6. By choosing one of these, you are tacitly
saying, "I don't want anyone next to me."
4. Urinals 2, 4 and 6 are occupied.
Enter your choice here: __
The
correct answer is 1. You're stuck being next to at least ONE guy, so
you minimize the impact and get a wall on your left. NEVER go between
TWO guys if you can help it. Exceptions to this are stadium rest rooms
where the herd thunders in.
Subtle,
Tricky, but Important to Know Section
5. Urinals 2, 5 and 6 are occupied.
Enter your choice here: __
The
correct answer is 4. Believe it or not, 1 or 3 "couples" you with the
guy in stall 2. And we wouldn't want THAT now, would we? This differs
from question 4 in such a subtle way that the nuances cannot be
explained. Suffice it to say, only we men would understand!
VERY
Tricky Indeed Section
6. Urinals 1, 2, 5 and 6 are occupied.
Enter your choice here: __
The
answer is NONE! You go to the mirror and pretend to comb your hair or
straighten a tie until the urinals "open up" a bit more. If you have to
go REAL, REAL BAD, for God's sake, man, use a stall with a door!
Other
Parts of the Unwritten Code of the Urinals:
NO
Talking, unless it's a good friend... but even then, keep it terse and
unemotional. This ain't no clubhouse.
I
don't think I need to tell you, but absolutely NO touching of anyone
other than yourself. A touch of another's elbow is the highest offense.
NO
Singing. Period.
Glances
are for purposes of acknowledgment only..."Yeah, I see you there. I
will not look again."
Who'd
have thought SO much goes into a seemingly simple process?
